Unforgivable
by Demigod
Summary: Raven thinks back on the past year of her life as she walks toward an uncertain future. I've betrayed them all before. We all know this. I've lost control, I've attacked them. They've always forgiven me. But this is different.


(I'm not sure what I'm doing, I haven't posted anything here in years. I recently watched through this series again, and I wanted to do something. This idea sort of came to me this morning and now I'm posting it here. It's short, but I like the scene. Enjoy.)

We walk together down the hallway, hand in hand. I don't have to tell him how I'm feeling, I know that he already knows.

I've betrayed them all before. We all know this. I've lost control, I've attacked them all individually from petty annoyances. I've lied, I've kept secrets. When my Father was claiming me, I knocked them unconscious. When they followed me anyway, I...

They've always forgiven me. But that was different.

I turn my head just enough to glance at his face. His jaw is set in determination, he only looks directly foward as we walk toward Operations. He can't be dissuaded. Azar knows I've tried. The only fights, what could honestly be called fights, that we get into are over this. He feels like he has to tell them, that they deserve to know. I keep secrets by nature, and this one is one I don't want revealed.

It started a little more than a year ago. In the brief euphoria following my Father's defeat, I felt so free and so relieved. My life was suddenly open to so much possibility. I wasn't dying at sixteen, I wasn't destroying the Earth, or Azerath. I wasn't losing everything I had come to love. All of this, because of him. He had literally braved hell itself to save me.

This euphoric freedom came to a head during a quiet, private, experimental kiss, alone in his room.

A few hours later I was myself again, my newfound freedom buried under necessary meditations and wards. But friendships can't change in that way and then survive unaltered. The private, secretive kisses and... romance that followed proved it.

I watched with interest as his relationship with her changed, how it grew. During the months we fought the Brotherhood, the close bond they share had only grown closer. I knew their feelings, and despite what he tries to tell me I know that the feelings are mutual. They had existed before my first kiss and they still exist now.

In Japan, I watched as they shared their first real kiss. I was honestly happy for both of them. She is my best friend, and I care more for his happiness than anyone's. I could see the happiness in her eyes, I could sense the conflicted joy in his heart. I had tried to break apart what we had after that. I told him to leave, I told him I was leaving him. But neither of us left, and now it has come to this.

He has made his choice, and as much as I want to fight him, I can't. Because I made my choice with that first kiss.

We pause in front of the door to operations. We can hear the others inside, talking about whatever meal she has cooked today. He looks at me, and even though his eyes are hidden behind his mask, I know what he's asking. Am I ready?

I don't have to answer him. He knows I'm not. He opens the door anyway.

I stand beside him silently, as he gets their attention. I don't open my mouth to explain, I only listen with the others. He meanders a little, putting off his confession for a few moments, but he can't stall any longer. I watch her as he tells them... everything. Excluding a few private moments and secrets that are only for him, he tells them everything.

I knew they would be surprised. I knew none of them suspected or knew. One accepts it, he doesn't have a stake in this. He's angry at us for hurting her, I know, but he will be fine. The other boy is hurt. I've known of his crush for some time, but I can't reciprocate. I know this hurts him, that he feels like he's losing something. But he will be fine.

But the look on her face, as all the trust, friendship, and love she has been building for years is torn down in minutes...

I've betrayed them all before. We all know this. I've lost control, I've attacked them all, I've lied, I've kept secrets. I've even forced them to watch as I destroyed myself to become His portal. They have always forgiven me.

But now I can see the way she looks at him, the way she looks at me, and I know.

This is something that can never be forgiven.


End file.
